Bubble wrap
by UrKid
Summary: Matt leaves with an announcement that makes Near follow him /MattxNear/


I've been doing this for months now and finally made myself ready it! Now, just because it took long, don't expect anything superb. In fact, if it takes long to write, it probably sucks. Because from the time you start doing it, you lose more of the right feeling the more you prolong it. Though, I'm not saying I lost the feeling :) the feeling's somehat kept itself alive the whole time if a little obscurely... how deep I am --' Well... I do think I thought that it seemed too much like a part of a bigger story but... I should actually read this now and see if I've messed up something, but I think it's all fine. Anyway, do review, though I think my telling won't make you lean to it any more. Ah, I'll still try x)

So read it! I said it's worth a shot, that all you've got to know!

* * *

"_You know, bubble wrap does prevent things from breaking._

_I wanted to give you this angel wrapped up so it won't break._

_I have one too, though my angel is far away from me._

_And I don't want him to break either, because I still love him._

_Stay whole, yours."_

_-_

"I'm leaving".

Matt stood in the doorway, watching, as Near continued his puzzle. The boy didn't answer. He didn't look up, he didn't flinch. He reacted in no way to the redheads words. Near just didn't care. Searching for some support, Matt turned his head towards the window on the left side of the room. It was snowing. The sun was covered by a thick layer of white clouds. He ran a hand trough his hair and shifted, not really knowing what to say next. He had this sick feeling in the bottom of his stomach and Near's reaction, or rather the lack of it, made it only worse.

"The bus leaves today, so… I guess this is goodbye."

Near nodded and put another piece in its place.

"I suppose it is".

Matt returned his gaze towards him, grateful for hearing his voice. Although it hurt him to be now certain that Near didn't care much if he did leave or not, he was still grateful. He wanted to hear his voice before he left. He couldn't have left before he heard Near talk one last time. His voice was arrogant and firm, yet soothing and pure. Like crystal, his voice was beautiful. And though it did hurt, it also gave him comfort. Like he had a broken leg and Near was kicking it. Yet he was happy because Near was giving him his attention and because he got some sick comfort from Near simply touching him. Matt felt silly for being so attached to Near, to say the least, and he looked down as if afraid that the other could hear his thoughts and get scared of him.

"Goodbye Near".

Matt turned around, planning to leave, but never got through the door. He leaned against the door frame with his elbow and rested his forehead against his hand. This sucks. Near must have noticed the quite abrupt way Matt he stopped, it was rather obvious for someone who sat only a few meters away, yet he was still not paying any attention. This sucks big time. The clock was ticking, he had to go. He had to go now, even though he would have given anything just get to stay there for enough long so he could make things better. Although he knew that would mean until he died. He was wasting his time. It wouldn't make a difference whether he left now or three years into the future. Because Near was the reason. And to the reason it didn't and it probably wouldn't matter. Matt's lips curved slightly into a smile, or at least to something very much like it. Ah well. Let's play three years in one minute.

"You know, Nate…"

Near couldn't help but look up upon hearing his real name being called out by the other boy. Matt lifted his goggles on his forehead while turning back to face Near, still leaning against his elbow.

"I love you," he said with a sad smile on his face, his voice as certain as ever, "I really do."

He then walked away, leaving Near alone in the big, chilly room.

-

Near sat on his knees before the window, his eyes carefully scanning the people outside, who were waiting for the bus to arrive and take them away. He curled a lock around his finger, deep in his thoughts. Matt was along those people, he knew it, but he couldn't see him. He had readied for him to go. He had known the other had to go, eventually. That was not something new. Matt was going. That was a fact.

"It's hormones, Matt…" he absently mumbled to himself.

Matt had told him he loved him. But love was just something temporary. Love was just hormones. To be exact, an increased release of hormones which would affect on his brains pleasure center so he would feel himself euphoric. That's what love was. It would abate eventually. It would go past. And Matt would forget him. He'd forget Matt. But Matt chose a bad time to leave. He left when the hormones were still doing their thing and so instead of feeling excited, Near felt melancholic. He wondered if Matt felt so good himself. It was actually quite possible, considering he might just be having testosterone working, which really did not affect on whether he was happy or not. Most likely, he would just be glad he had just achieved something. Maybe it wasn't exactly what you'd call an achievement, but it must be fun to run around and declare his love for people he felt the slightest bit of affection towards to. He glanced at the clock over his shoulder.

"The bus will come any minute now."

Near felt like crying. He wouldn't though, because that made no sense. Crying wouldn't help anyone, no matter what the situation was. Despite that, he still felt like it and it wasn't exactly a pleasant feeling.

"Damn hormones".

He listened to his own voice and couldn't help but notice how crestfallen it sounded, compared to normal. It wasn't a huge difference, but noticeable to someone who knew Near. Matt knew Near, Matt would have noticed. It hadn't sounded like that when Matt had been around, because when he had announced he was leaving, Near technically shut down his whole thinking activity. Any thinking would have quickly leaded to the realization that Matt was leaving. And because making up words and forming a rational sentence out of them requires thinking, he had been able to form only one sentence. If he had said more, he would have thought too far. And if that had happened, Matt would have noticed from his voice that, whatever science called it, Near's heart was breaking. Near blinked. Through the snowfall, he saw two flashing lights alarmingly approaching the group of people just outside the gate that leaded to the House.

"Shit."

Near stood up, telling himself to calm down, and made his way to the door.

-

Near pushed the door open and stepped out into the snow. He didn't have toque nor did he have mittens. He only had a loose sweater he had grabbed somewhere along the way to prevent the cold. He started trudging forwards in the snow. He didn't see the lights of the bus near the gates anymore and overall there was only a slight change he had made it in time. But even if there was only one percent chance, he was going to go for it. Chance was a chance, no matter what. Near quickened his pace. It didn't take him long to reach the iron gates. He leaned his entire weight against the other, the gate opening slightly so he could easily slip out. He pulled his shirt sleeves over his hands, which were getting a bit cold and then some, while viewing the scene before him. The bus was still there and the people outside were gathered around the door of it, speaking in a rather loud voice. The door was not open and the bus driver was apparently out too. Near glanced at the bus. Out of all the possible options, it would be most likely that the bus was broken. So where was Matt? Somewhere lost in the crowd. Matt should have still been somewhere among those people. Near quickly scanned through the people as he approached the bus.

"Matt…" Near called, even though he doubted that even the nearest ones of the group heard him due to the noise.

He bit his lip and pushed his way into the mob, in search for a certain redhead. The people we're shouting complaints, questions and other random things to the bus driver and being right in the middle of the group, he heard them a bit too loud for his need. He would have stopped to think why were these people called geniuses, if he hadn't had a more important and crucial thing in his mind. Suddenly he was firmly grabbed by the ribs and thrust right back out of the crowd. Matt. Near received this odd feeling in the pit of his stomach, which he couldn't quite describe. It wasn't euphoria, it wasn't love, it was something like… relief. He was glad that Matt was there, holding him tight. And at the same time, Near felt something else that wasn't such a comfortable feeling.

-

Matt let go of Near after they had got a few meters away, realizing it probably was like he was intruding the other's personal space. Matt cautiously glanced at the boy before him, who was looking somewhere past him. Matt had this horrible feeling Near didn't want him to touch him because of what he had said earlier. Well you have nothing to lose now. Matt pulled a smile on his face, not completely succeeding to hide his sadness, but anyway.

"I heard your voice", he said softly.

Near tilted his head and curled a string of hair around his finger. He was now quiet. But when he talked, his voice rose upon all the other noise, no matter how loud. Even though in compare Near's voice definitely wasn't loud. Maybe it was just Matt. His name had never sounded so good. As Matt watched Near play with a wisp of his hair, snow falling gently on him, it hit him that Near didn't have the exactly the most suitable clothes for what came to that weather. He couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of happiness because Near had left in such a hurry for him. Or then somebody had shoved him out. But Near wasn't the kind of person you could just shove around, if he didn't want to go, he didn't go. Matt mentally kicked himself for not staying in the essential. Near was probably freezing.

"Why are…" he started but Near suddenly cut him off.

"Look, I know your hormones are being very active at this time."

Matt was suddenly extremely uncomfortable. Near wasn't going to lecture him about this? Oh no. Don't tell me this is just temporary, you don't know what it's like. Only a one that had felt it knew what it was like. Matt was not stupid, he could separate hormones from love. They were two different things, he knew, he had felt them both. This wasn't that blind state where you see the other trough pink glasses, or rather, goggles, love everything, agree to everything he does and says and then go and fetch the moon for him, which he better not slip out. This wasn't hormones. He knew Near would argue with him about that, that he would say he did not know because he was the one who was under this spell. And what could Matt say to him? He couldn't quite explain it right. Every time he had tried in his head, it always ended up sounding like hormones. And since Near was this… superhuman who didn't have to fall in love, he wouldn't know himself. He should have known. Matt wished he would know.

"You know what?" Matt asked trying to sound energetic, "You don't have to tell me, I know already."

Near gave Matt a very much doubtful look.

"You know, I highly…"

"I know what you're going to say already, so save the trouble. Even if you did prove me wrong, you know I wouldn't believe it."

Near was giving him an odd look and Matt felt a rush to explain himself, he just didn't know how. Matt felt stupid for receiving that look, even though to him the sentence had made perfect sense. Now he only felt the need to fix himself. Why, though? It wasn't like he hadn't said anything Near had kept extremely odd before. He was protecting himself, Matt quickly decided, even though he had already practically given himself to Near to do what he wanted with it. It made no sense, but Matt couldn't help it. He needed to ensure that Near wouldn't hurt what he had given him. Near should have known he was about to hurt him, he was smart, but for some reason he didn't, rather the opposite. The smaller boy before him opened his mouth, about to talk again, causing Matt to panic and speak the first words that came into his mind.

"I mean, I know it's hormones and all and it's possible that they're clouding my judgment ability and I can't separate them from each other, but you know, I've been starting to think it can't be that, since I know what it feels like and it isn't this", Near looked like he was about to yawn and look at his clock, if he had one, but Matt couldn't stop explaining before he was clear, "This is different from that, I don't , I feel - I can't explain it, but I know, I can see the difference, I just don't know how to put it, you don't know what it's like, you've never felt it, but I…"

Near rolled his eyes and stepped right in front of him, Matt too busy talking he would have noticed this. He leaned up so he could reach Matt, holding his hands against the other's chest for support. Only now Matt realized what was happening, although only for about a second until he lost it again. Near then placed his lips over Matt's, kissing him softly. Matt blinked, founding himself dumbfounded and unable to get a hold of what exactly just happened, even a while after Near had retreated.

"Now will you listen?" Near asked studying Matt's reaction.

Matt nodded, even though rather absently. Matt tried to hit it in his head that Near had just kissed him to get him quiet, but he was unable to concentrate enough to realize the meaning of the sentence. Instead he shortened it slightly: Near had just kissed him.

"I do know what it's like. I can feel it, at this very moment, and I still believe it's hormones. It's not like you're the only one with active hormones", Matt stared at Near, rather obviously missing the point, who had his eyes firmly locked with Matt's, "In the words of a layman, I love you."

Matt could figure out several different things that it meant in practice, but still he decided to cut the details into two simple facts: Near had just told him he loved him and before that Near had kissed him.

-

Again he was being pushed. Near felt like he should be annoyed by this, and maybe note that he was in fact a living being, but he felt somewhat secure being done this. Matt wasn't there to hurt him and he didn't wait to ask if he could do that, which meant that he was sure it wouldn't hurt Near. That, and Near had no time to doubt that because of how quick it all happened, until after it had happened and then he was already safe. Right now he however felt his lower back and neck that had been exposed, touch the snow and it sent chills down his spine. Near only had about a second of time to probe this, as he then felt a pair of lips crush onto his, causing his thoughts start to part and go random ways, and he wasn't sure at all which one he was following. Go blank, focus. Matt was currently kissing him. He felt himself warm up again for the shared body heat and was surprised to see he didn't melt through the snow under him. Matt's hands found their way behind Near's back moving his sweater back down to cover his back from the snow as Near adjusted his under Matt's coat behind his neck. He felt Matt slightly shiver, because of how cold the younger boy's hands were, and Near figured he had made a mistake. But as he attempted to pull back, Matt moved closer without any hesitation. He pulled Near to sit while placing several kisses over his lips. Near wondered at what point Matt's gloves had went, feeling now the redheads warm hands caress the skin of his back, but left it aside. Near placed his forehead on the older boy's chest, who held him tight to himself afraid that Near might get cold again. They stayed like that for a while, a comfortable silence surrounding them. There were still loud noises hear in the background but they paid them as much attention as they paid for them. Near lifted his head up as he realized people were starting to roll into the buss. Matt noticed Near's stare and turned to look as well. They both stood up as the bus driver yell.

"The bus is leaving now!"

If it was anyone else but Near, that person would have slapped himself right now with the feeling he had. It was a stupid stunt they had, it only lasted for such a short moment, and now they'd have to part with more pain. Doesn't it hurt more now when you know it could have happened? They'd be wondering why neither of them said anything earlier so they could have had more time to make it right. Now they just didn't have the time. Either life hates us, or we hate life. He'd go with the latter one, they were the ones who cause their problems. Near stared at the bus in detail but didn't react to it. He fingered a curl of his hair, going through his options. Matt didn't say anything, nor did he move, so he must have known Near was planning a solution. It didn't take him long to make his decision, which fit the current situation where they didn't have much time to waste. Near turned to Matt, giving him an attentive look.

"Okay, now you know you can't stay, right?"

Matt nodded. The orphanage wasn't willing to keep him there forever and he needed to get out before it was too late. They kept them in bubble wrap and if they stayed too long they became unable to live by themselves. And eventually they would be sent out, for the House did not nourish adults. Those didn't make it quite well. Near was sure they were trying to keep him wrapped up as long as possible, without a 

doubt, too long. He could have left of course, they weren't keeping him in prison there, but he was also sure that as the first he had a way of surviving in another way. Also, he had his duties.

"And I can't leave. Those are for sure," Matt nodded again, not sure where this was going to, "Good then. Let's go."

Near took Matt's hand and swiftly led him to the bus. He ignored the looks he received from the other leaving adolescents as he stepped into the line waiting to get on the bus. The first was leaving, what the hell, why? Matt too was confused but wasn't uncertain about Near knowing what he was doing.

"Hey first, why you leaving?"

A boy was the first one to get to ask. Calling him first could have been considered as rude and a bitter thing to do, but as the House was not for the most stupid kids in the world, Near knew there was another reason to it. The boy probably knew Near's name, but Near didn't know his, so it would have been awkward to refer to him by his first name, perhaps agonizing on Near's behalf.

"You can call me Near. And I'm not leaving."

Near on the other hand would find it much odder if they started calling each other numbers. 'Could you please pass me the butter, twenty-seventh?' As the confusion rose upon the others because of Near's rather unfitting answer, Matt seemed to be somewhat enlightened. Near was glad that he knew, but he had expected no less from Matt. They didn't have to wait long before they got on the bus, and when they did, they chose their seats from far back. Near sat by the window and Matt right next to him. They didn't say anything, waiting for someone to come and take Near back before the bus had the time to leave. But when no one came and the bus finally left the House, they were able to let down their guards. Matt smiled to Near, who smiled back at him, and he took the younger's hand while kissing him affectionately on the lips. He then grinned widely, his next words only a whisper.

"So. Where did heaven drop you, Mr. River?"

Near smiled if only a little and looked up at the ceiling. To him the answer was rather simple: all roads led to one place.

"In bubble wrap."

The end of the bus trip was mostly talking, among small kisses and gentle caresses.

-

Near was caught early in the morning by an airport with someone, who disappeared before anyone could see who it was. When asked from Near who it was, he assured he did not know who they were talking about, and when asked what did he do at the airport in the first place, he stated that he had simply gone out for a walk. Even though it had been seen that Near had been in close terms with the person in question, and even though they had to fetch Near from countless miles away from the House, from an airport, at a time no one should be outside just for a walk, Near was able to dodge these accusations and no one was able to prove he was lying. All the while everyone including Near knew he was. And so the case was dropped, primarily because in the end it didn't matter as long as Near was willing to return back.

Much later on somebody noticed a little angel figurine on Near's bedside table.


End file.
